So much beauty

I feel incredibly humbled and fortunate to have been a gardener over the years. To look after a garden, to work the soil, to put one's actual blood, sweat and tears into a living being.

My work keeps me grounded. The earth that I work with, in fact the whole Earth is alive, actually alive. Billions upon billions of lives make up our world. The bodies of countless insects, trees and humans regenerate and compost into soil. Rocks are made from the bodies of fish and shellfish.....mind blowing!

When I look after a garden I always look after the earth. In the garden last winter I spread 70 tons of cow manure 4" thick over the beds to feed the soil ( remember the blood, sweat and tears!! ). My garden motto has always been 'Feed the soil not the plants'. What a response. The most floriferous borders yet. This is the big 'thank you' you get back from Nature when you look after Her precious soil.

I've been a professional gardener for over 30 years and I'm learning every day, I learn how much we are a part of our surroundings and of our world. Everything has life. So much beauty.

The Ritual of Food

A ritual is a great container for helping us to appreciate our life.

We all have our own different rituals throughout the day, however small. The way we stir our cup of tea each time. The way we brush our teeth last thing at night. All ritualistic.

There was a study last year in Psychological Science that had researcher Kathleen D Vohs experiment with chocolate. Half the participants ripped off the wrapper and quickly ate. The other half slowly unwrapped the bar in a ritualistic manner, finding the bar more tasty and longer lasting. They were being aware of what they were doing!
They conducted the same experiment with lemonade and carrots, with the same results. Its not surprising really, if we take more care, we appreciate more.

Monastic life has been aware of the benefit of ritual with food for thousands of years. In Zen Temples and Monasteries ritual is always used to cultivate awareness and to appreciate where our food comes from. Even our shortest mealtime ceremony uses :

First, this food is for the Three Treasures.

Second, it is for our Teachers, Parents, Nation and All Sentient Beings.

Third, it is for all beings in the six worlds.

Thus, we eat this food with everyone.

We eat to stop evil,

To practice good,

To save all sentient beings

And to accomplish our Buddha Way.

If we read that again but this time carefully read every word. Can we see the difference that makes? If we take our time with words in ritual the meaning becomes more powerful.
We eat to save all beings. If we say that in a meditative ritual the words become so very powerful, giving a new perspective on how and where food comes from.

Our formal mealtime ceremony is called Oryoki, the photo above is how we set up our bowls while sitting in meditation. Oryoki demands that we consider the food and the act of eating  in relationship with everything else. We consider how the food got into the bowl. The 'Seventy Two Labours' of the Farmer, Truck Driver, Shop Assistant, Cook, Server and so many unseen helpers are appreciated.
We consider the craftsman who made our shiny black bowls and thank the Mango tree for using its timber. We eat our food and give thanks to all who are involved in this moment of Oryoki. Our neighbour sat on the cushion next to us plays an active part in our ritual, we are all in this together, Oryoki is all of us.

Oryoki is a beautiful ceremony, a beautiful ritual for appreciating our food and our life. It is the culinary version of the Tea Ceremony. When we eat our food we just eat. When we drink tea we just drink.

Oryoki means 'Just Enough'. Greed has no part in the ceremony. We eat to live and give wholehearted thanks for our food.

Living with Pain

I've had a bad back for years, apparently wear and tear through years of hard work in the garden. At first it was fine, it was probably more of an irritation, a backwards stretch and I was ok for another half hour of graft. With the passage of time, as the seasons rolled along my back became so painful that at the end of a day in the garden I would be on all fours with tears in my eyes.

I've been through the system with the NHS, seeing three doctors, two neurology consultants and an osteopath. I've had x-rays taken, MRI scans, injections into my spine and acupuncture. I've been prescribed the most horribly strong drugs. Codeine is an awful drug that is far too easily prescribed, just after a few weeks my body became totally addicted to it, thankfully no more.

At the bottom of my despair with my problem I turned it back in on myself. My pain became a my Koan. What is pain? and who is it that is experiencing the pain. I remembered to old Buddhist quote :-

Meditation is essential in getting to the root of pain. Zazen is the sword that cuts through suffering.
I was trying to push away my pain, to block it out completely, which in itself seems to be a completely 'normal' thing to do. If you have a headache the 'normal' thing to do is to take an aspirin. But by taking pain killers I was negating the existence of pain. Pain is there, it has its existence, It has to live.

I had to learn to acknowledge and accept my pain, I had to learn to give it respect and the hardest thing was that I had to give it love. I saw into my delusion of thinking that the feelings of pain and irritation were bad and that the feelings of happiness and joy were good. A feeling is just a feeling there is no good or bad, its only what we attach to it that causes the problem.

Pain is now a part of my life, this is the life I have. I have this body for the rest of my life and if I choose to attach to pain, my suffering will be life long. I choose to be present in my life so pain comes and pain goes, joy comes and goes, life changes naturally.

Arthritic back pain is now as sacred to me as the feeling of deep joy.

Pain is Inevitable, Suffering is Optional. I choose not to take that option anymore.

Love and Fear

Beauty of Nature

 The beauty of Nature knows no bounds! This living heart is the fruit of the Pear Melon, usually a round shape, it's whole essence filled the glasshouse with LOVE. 

I work as a Professional Gardener and everyday I feel blessed.

Working gardens and my mind.

Forty nine years of raking.

Dew falls on the early morning lawn.

As the roses sing aloud.

Working With The Precept Of Not Killing

I vow to refrain from killing.

I vow to refrain from stealing.

I vow to refrain from being greedy.

I vow to refrain from telling lies.

I vow to refrain from being intoxicated and ignorant.

I vow to refrain from talking about others errors and faults.

I vow to refrain from elevating myself and blaming others.

I vow to refrain from being stingy, especially with the Dharma.

I vow to refrain from indulging in anger and hatred. 

I vow to refrain from speaking ill of the Buddha , Dharma and Sangha.

As a Zen Buddhist, these are the Ten Grave Precepts that we receive at Jukai ( Lay Ordination ) and at Shukke Tokudo ( Priest Ordination ). We live them to our core and allow them to BE our core. If we break one then we break them all.

As a Gardener I have always had a problem with the first Precept. For most of my life I have lived as a vegetarian ( with vegan tendencies ) and so I feel the heart of living creatures. I find it really painful and hard to understand what we do to our animal friends all in the name of food production. Yet while at work, eating my sandwich at lunchtime, I ponder on the harm and suffering that I have caused to happen to produce my meal. The cheese ( I Love Cheese ) comes from the dairy industry that produces young calves for the meat industry. The lettuce is born, has its life and then is hacked off at the root and killed for the pleasure of my sandwich.
I once heard a story about a Buddhist monastery in Tibet. The monks were building an extension and were just starting to dig the ground ready for the foundations, when they came across a big problem. For as they were digging, lots of earthworms and insects were being chopped in half by their spades. The monks were so horrified and filled with compassion that they halted all work on the extension. For years I viewed the actions of the monks as an over reaction but then the First Precept became my bones and I now understand.

In my garden there are no sprays to massacre aphids or weevils, it is their garden as much as mine. Who owns your garden ? You or the song thrush defending its territory ? I now work with nature not against it.
But the koan of the first precept is still there. We are human, and as human beings we kill. The very act of breathing kills countless microbes. When we eat, always something is killed, there is no escape from this fact. So how do we square the circle ?

Well for me the answer is to do the least possible harm that I can, and always with the heart of love.
The Perfection of Zen is to be found in the two words 'Human' and 'Being'. We are not OK, but that's Ok.